For many of us asking for help is a difficult thing to do. We would rather stay stuck in our challenges or settle for outcomes that we are not happy with than go to someone who could offer us some assistance. So why is asking for help difficult for people?  The following are some reasons that I believe contribute to people’s inability to ask for help: Perception that asking for help is a sign of weakness; Fear of looking foolish or being embarrassed in front of others; Pride; Reflects an inability to manage areas of our life; and Having to pay someone for their assistance. Our thoughts and beliefs around asking for help have been influenced by the messages that we have been exposed to from our environments (e.g. home, social, work, school etc.). For example, you may have been exposed to environments that suggested that you should solve your own problems or that you cannot trust others to help you. If you had been exposed to these types of messages yo...

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Setting goals on December 31 is a wonderful tradition. There you are, full of bonhomie (or maybe just pretty full). All things seem possible. Goals for the year ahead just roll of your tongue. Now its February, holidays are well and truly over, and the pressure is on to stop talking, get into action and produce some results. Trouble is those New Year goals may now not be looking quite so sparkly and easy. Another challenge is that, for some of us, switching off and taking a mental break is really hard to do. But once weve finally slowed down and are enjoying the holiday pace, switching on again and getting back into the groove towards our goals is even harder. Here are eight strategies to ease you back into the groove and get focused again - when part of may still be hankering for the beach and a good novel. Clear the space ready for easier action. Complete some of those tasks you have had on your list but never make a priority. Handle those little things that annoy, like fix...

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Six key steps to setting goals   Well, it’s the New Year and I am guessing most of you (me included) have set at least one goal or New Year resolution. So before you go much further, make sure that you set yourself up for success and give yourself the best possible chance to achieve your goals.  Today I share with you 6 key steps to writing goals that will help you achieve them.    State your goal positively Put your goal in context Express your goal in specific, sensory terms Choose a goal you can fulfill yourself Evaluate honestly the effects of achieving your goal Choose a worthwhile goal. Many of the people I coach have radically improved different aspects of their lives by using this approach to setting and achieving their goals. 1. State your goal positively State what you want (not what you don’t want!!). The brain works in such a way that stating a goal in negative terms can have completely the wrong effect. What most...

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We all play the waiting game, when we are queuing for services or at the check out counter at the supermarket, we wait. As we grow up we wait to get older, so we can stay up later, and then we wait so we can be old enough not to need a babysitter. And before you know it we are waiting to get our drivers license and buy alcohol. We then wait to move out of home and find our place in the world. Yes waiting is apart of life and as we get older we realize that waiting serves a purpose, to appreciate the now, to not fast-forward our lives, and to enjoy being young. I used say when I was younger that I cannot wait to grow up, funny and now that I am grown up I want to find my inner child again! In coaching we find people that are still waiting, waiting for that magical relationship, career, and new life. They believe others will give that to them if they wait long enough. Well it is about getting out there out of your comfort zone that you will create new change and new opportunities. With...

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A client of mine has a new saying ‘I love the world’ as she achieved a major goal in her life and all was finally going her way. What a great attitude to have. When you vibrate from this space only good things happen, how true is that? If you achieve what you set out to do then it is natural to feel good and for some people like my client they just want to hug and love everybody! They want to share their happiness with anybody who will listen and shout it from the roof tops! Success is sweet that it true especially if you have gone through so much to finally get there the journey does test you in ways you never thought possible. Yet you persisted and you overcame each obstacle even to the point of getting into more financial debt as a result because you knew it was all worth it and the result would change everything. How I can relate to you, sometimes you wonder in your midst of madness determination you question if this is the right way? This sheer madness takes you in directions th...

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Attitude is everything, if you have a crappy attitude you: • Age quicker • Suffer from stress internally and externally • Attract disaster upon disaster • Have failed relationships because you are so crappy no one will tolerate you • Pay double for things because people don’t offer any discounts (most likely they increase their prices!) • You are always running late because you are busy complaining about the bad service • You rarely go out and thus have very few friends • You hate Christmas and your birthday because people who are supposed to love you forget • Life is SO HARD • Other people are luckier than you • You have had a tough life and you see no way out Just imagine living like this? Today I met someone with these characteristics he was our bus driver on the way home. We were in the city and it was a busy bus route to jump on especially if you have a pram, the driver was angry and bitter, a crappy attitude alrig...

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Whilst at the grocery checkout I overheard a lady saying on the mobile “why do I keep doing this? And ‘never again will I act this way with men?” I empathized with her as a few years ago I was that woman (well perhaps not on the mobile spilling out my private life!) . I too had created patterns around my ‘future partners’ and kept repeating those patterns until I sorted out my own needs. Then I finally broke my non-serving ways. We all have patterns of behaviors and some are conscious and some are not, we just do and often we are driven emotionally to do something without really realizing the consequences or impact on our future decisions. Like taking a main highway we have this road all mapped out in our minds and body so it just happens.. Until we say ‘never again’. Once we recognize this we are on the road to awareness and change and like any habit, we need to replace it with something else, more productive and constructive. That is the key, if you change this habit and this too d...

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Last night a friend was telling me about her discussion with her boss, it went something like this: I know you are intelligent And you know I am intelligent So let’s just be real and tell it how it is.. And they discussed issues pertinent to her team and the stresses that they were all working under. It was an honest open discourse and she felt good about just laying it on the table and he felt enlighten about what was going on. Being real is not as difficult as it first appears you just need to be prepared to be honest and be ready for the other person to be as honest in return. I remember many years ago I had this type of talk with an ex boyfriend and he told me all the things he didn’t like about me including my physical features! I guess I wasn’t looking for this type of honesty, but I invited it so I should have been more prepared. When you are authentic you have no hidden agenda as you speak your truth, sometimes this can cause conflict as you need to be a little bit more s...

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Sometimes change is thrown at us and we need to react, quickly. I clearly remember the time we had just settled in our new apartment, our lives were going well and we had an overseas trip organized. Perfect no surprises then one day we get a letter from our rental agency giving us notice to move as the landlord was wanting to move back in! We had only a few weeks to do all this in as we had committed to our overseas trip and paid for the flights. Two short weeks, needless to say the feeling of madness was upon us alright. Change here we come… In life we often get turbulence during our perfect flight. In moments like these we need to practice behavioral flexibility and remain calm. Easier said than done for an organized Arian who needs control and planning! After the initial shock we calmed down and got into action mode, it was all going to work out that was our mind-set and we had a clear picture of what needed to happen with Swiss precision. Change moves you into a new reality, so y...

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As the sun sets for another day, I marvel at the colors and how unique each sunset is, none are exactly the same with the cloud cover and light diminishing you get the feeling that the moment will last forever, just as it is about to disappear the crescendo hits. It is absolutely beautiful. It is easy to live each day, one at a time and just be. There is security in routine and there are no surprises. Yet we do need to move forward, otherwise we stop growing personally and professionally. That is the paradox, you stay the same you loose, you change something you are taking risks, becoming vulnerable and there are no guarantees. So you may loose there too. So when is it a good time to change? That is the magic question, with taking risks you are out on a limb, that is true and you may also feel: • Vulnerable • On your own • Nervous • Insecure • Anxious • Apprehensive You are on a new path and this leads you to the unknown these emotions are just temporary ...

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