GIVING UP PERFECTIONISM Perfectionism is a myth. When someone says “I am a perfectionist” what I am hearing is that they really have no standards. Perfectionism cannot be achieved, so it’s the same as saying you want to achieve the impossible. Yet isn’t it interesting how much time people spend trying to attain it. Saying we want perfection is really another way of saying I don’t feel confident to say the task is complete. And isn’t that another way of saying I fear not being enough? Hmmmmm.... How about instead of focusing on perfection, you focus on the results you really want to achieve? Giving up the illusion of perfection is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself, because it frees up your energy and time to focus on what really matters. When people are first introduced to this they tend to feel a level of fear because they have convinced themselves that it’s necessary to achieve this. Abandoning perfection seems scary because they are unclear about what to rep...

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If you’ve ever been to a personal development seminar then you’ll know that you that you can sit there for hours and be interested in what the presenter has to say yet still be thinking about what you have to make for dinner, or where you’re going to be tomorrow. Unfortunately life is just so busy these days that even your thoughts are multi-tasking. Then, out of the blue this presenter will make a passing comment (often not even related to the topic) that actually hits you for six! Yes, that ah-ha moment (aka the ‘lightbulb’ moment) is when you suddenly gain instant clarity (and stillness of mind!). So I had one of these moments the other day when I was at Roger Hamilton’s Wealth Dynamics Seminar. And all it was that he said was: “don’t be on someone else’s journey!” That was it … don’t be on someone else’s journey. It wasn’t even to do with wealth! How many times have people told you to do what YOU want to do? My guess is hundreds of times. Yet if you’re like most of us, you get so...

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On my way to the office today I walked past a homeless man whose sign read 'please give me a coffee and croissant, I haven't eaten breakfast today'. Well guess what? He got his coffee and croissant! (lesson # 1: Ask and you shall receive). As I sat there chatting to him I learned he worked 5 hour shifts, his friend J covered the other 5, he earned about $30 a day and he had just had his pension cut off because of a mix up with an address (he lives on the streets mainly). What struck me most, was that although he was -less a home (so to speak) he was happy. Why? Because he had certainty (he knew he had a place to sit everyday where he could make money without fear of being kicked out - he went on to explain how political the street world could get and that he had a good patch), connection (during the 10mins I was there at least 3 different people came up to have a chat with him) and a sense of belonging to a group or purpose (maintaining spirits high despite the injustices of bureaucra...

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When was the last time you got out of your comfort zone? For me last Wednesday was the day of getting out of my safe routine. You see I went door knocking. I wasn’t selling I was raising money for a worthy cause. It felt strange and I began to realize that most of us have built-in safety zones, we go within the boundary limits and that is it. Because to be frank with you having to stretch yourself is scary and you are vulnerable. So as I approached my designated street I practiced my speech out loud. “Hello Red Cross Calling” why did I volunteer? Simply to do just that, to get out of my comfort zone and raise money for a great charity. So as I approached the first block of units I realized that most people weren’t in or made excuses for not giving at all. In my head I was not attached emotionally, whatever they could give great, and if not, fine, said thanks and walked away. By the time I had reached the end of the street, I was more relaxed, smiled and donations came my way. As they ...

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As I sip on my Lindt hot chocolate at the Lindt cafe in Martin place I am reminded of a place, far away: rue de la confederation, Geneve. The home of the intoxicating Swiss chocolate, other tasty treats and precision machines. We love the finer things in life, good food, creamy chocolates that melt in your mouth, full-bodied wine, sexy, beautiful clothes and the wonderful trimmings in our everyday life. This is the motivator for us to get those ‘luxury items’ and have prestige. This reflects every area in our lives from work to personal relationships. We need to feel in control of our lives and often times pick partners that are not really on the same wavelength as us, why do we do that? Ah yes we see what we want to see and we filter the rest. We focus on what we want in that person to be, like “he is tall and good looking” and in our minds we have created that perfect mate. However reality it’s different isn’t it? The things we have ignored start to surface. “He is not mature enoug...

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Don’t you just love it when you buy a piece of clothing that just fits? Snug in all the right places and comfortable to wear. How good is it, that it not only feels right it also looks great! Do you notice that this goes for any area of your life? That when something feels right, it shines right through and people notice. When something is going well you’re on top of the world. So what happens when the item doesn’t fit (or things aren’t going so well)? How does the non-fit (or issue at hand) make you feel? Do you buy it anyway? How long do you keep (feeling) it? Back in the good old days we’d go to a tailor to fix it. Nowadays we also have the option to look for a better fit elsewhere. You too have that choice. When something just doesn’t fit – into your lifestyle, with your plans, your environment, in accordance with your values – or has stopped fitting, you can go out and get yourself something that does! One other thing to consider, will you know your fit when you see it? Or will it...

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It isn’t enough that society places so much pressure on us to excel in every area our lives, but when we add our own expectations to the mix, we can really be setting ourselves up for disappointment. There are so many pressures on us as young women that the reality is we can become so overwhelmed that despite our achievements we are never happy with our results. So what does it mean to be “happy” and “guilt free”? Happiness is often mistaken as being successful which can be superficially measured by how many friends we have on Facebook, how exciting we are as lovers, whether or not we’re wearing next season’s fashions now and the amount of money we hint at but never admit to having. But this isn’t happiness – happiness is the result of getting our natural human needs in just the right balance. So what are those needs? – simply put we need to give and receive love, contribute to others’ lives and to society, have variety in our own lives, feel that we’re important, experience growth a...

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At the recent Christopher Howard Seminar he mentioned that in life we get what we expect not what we want. If we expect things to turn out bad that becomes our reality as we are projecting our perceptions and these are just fed right back! I was interesting to hear this again as most of us live in the drama cycle of life. We want things to go a certain way, in our relationships, career and so on. However our thoughts do something else, we introduce doubt, hesitancy into our dialogue and this becomes our new expectation, consciously or not we are not being congruent with our wants. If life gives you lemons…. Make Margaritas! According to Chris Howard. I love that concept use what you get in life, if you resist it, it will persist. So go with the flow, become in alignment with what you truly want, in every sense of the word. If you are given something you do not want, embrace it and make it a part of you and turn that energy around and make that your point of differentiator. The sooner...

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We went to a funeral last week, and unlike going to a festive party, the mood was somber and quiet. As people talked about Pierre I learned more about him and how he lived his life. He was a shining example of living each day. He was in tune with his spirit and he did so many things in his short life. He was dynamic and came from a place of excellence. He had a health challenge for his last seven years, however this did not deter him from exploring life, pushing the boundaries and grabbing life by the ‘cojones’ as I would say. Imagine living your life to the fullest each day, being the person you were intended to be, loving those close to you and connecting with all walks of life in your journey. I have met people that are much older than Pierre and they still don’t get it. They come from a place of mistrust and scarcity. They are living in fear and consequence. I understand that we are all different and we each have our own purpose to fill. It doesn’t matter how old you are, the im...

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What do you notice when you move to another country? The smells, the people? Or do you notice the differences? I met a lady at the bus stop last night, I could clearly see that she was from Latin America, she clung to her notebook (doing English classes I thought) and had a T-Shirt in Spanish. So I approached her and tried to make eye contact, smiled and said ‘hola’ Then I took a ride back to my native Spanish and conversed with her, we got on the bus and talked some more. She had recently arrived, in fact she still had one foot back in Peru and I am sure her body clock was still adjusting! What did she think of this place I wondered? She had innocence about her, as if she had just got her passport specifically for this intention: to move to another country. No family connection, just her husband, also Peruvian. When you are new to something everything feels foreign, it can be very daunting and alien however you know you have made the right decision, you soldier on and get familiar...

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