Whilst at the grocery checkout I overheard a lady saying on the mobile “why do I keep doing this? And ‘never again will I act this way with men?” I empathized with her as a few years ago I was that woman (well perhaps not on the mobile spilling out my private life!) . I too had created patterns around my ‘future partners’ and kept repeating those patterns until I sorted out my own needs. Then I finally broke my non-serving ways. We all have patterns of behaviors and some are conscious and some are not, we just do and often we are driven emotionally to do something without really realizing the consequences or impact on our future decisions. Like taking a main highway we have this road all mapped out in our minds and body so it just happens.. Until we say ‘never again’. Once we recognize this we are on the road to awareness and change and like any habit, we need to replace it with something else, more productive and constructive. That is the key, if you change this habit and this too d...

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Today I felt a bit lost and lonely, we had family and friends around us since mid October and yesterday we all headed off to the airport to bid them farewell. My in-laws had become so integrated into our routines that I felt vacant and sad all day, the low lying clouds adding to this mood. Strange you get so used to having people around, interacting, sharing stories and having their energy fill your home. We all enjoyed their company especially their 11 month grand-daughter she was so happy to play, get taken out for walks, and to hang out with her oma and opa. I enjoyed the break, to do other duties and to write uninterrupted, it was bliss. Having love and connection fills your heart and makes you realize that it is not just about you, you are part of a tribe that share common interests and take care of children together. There is something to be said about sharing the gearing of children, having the extended family close by and having conversations that matter. I know in my cultur...

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Good things happen to other people, you see them on Sunday with their beautiful clothes, cars and families. They are having gelato at the corner café, all seem to be getting along famously. You wonder, ‘what a lucky woman, she seems to have it all’. Yes good things happen to others whilst you are simply struggling to find the right partner and hopefully one day have some good fortune. Can you believe that people actually think like this? They feel that they are not worthy or deserving of having such a reality?  Putting others on a pedestal just distances you from your ideal life. Making it appear so far away and unattainable. Well as a life coach I am here to tell you that you can be that lucky woman if you first of all, believe in yourself. It still surprises me how some women will under play their strengths so others can take the credit, they do not want to shine. They want to fly under the radar and just get by. Well with this attitude how on earth are you going to attract th...

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Why do people stay in relationships which make them unhappy? I ask myself this as lately this theme just keeps coming up. I guess the fear of being alone comes up, and the fact that this is all they know, even if this relationship is toxic and is dysfunctional. This is a certainty even if you get angry and feel depleted you want out but cannot muster the energy and the resources to walk away…. You live under the same roof yet you are miles away mentally and physically, you just stay in this hoping that they will change their ways….   Well no matter how much you want them to change and fulfill your needs they may not. You cannot control them. You need to take responsibility for your own happiness otherwise you just mirror each other and this is why you feel so down. You need to nurture yourself and protect yourself.   Do something about it; after all you deserve to be happy don’t you? You are the master of your own destiny so how much more pain are you willing to fee...

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It has been a while since I last wrote a post for our articles. This is something it has been on my mind for a while now. Firstly because I have been there before and secondly because I can see someone close to me being in a similar situation. Before I met my soul mate in my lovely wife, I had two very consuming long term relationships, which in the end made me very lonely. Looking back at them from where I am today, it makes me realize that I missed out on a lot of quality time with people that I love. The question I didn’t ask was: Is this relationship a two way street? , who is giving and who is taking in the relationship. There was one thing that kept me in both relationships and that was guilt. Yes I felt guilty and I was allowing my partners to play the guilt game with me. I want to make clear that I am not blaming my former partners for this, I allowed this to happen. I made myself feeling guilty and instead of standing up for myself I curled up and closed down to protect mys...

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This last month has really been different, it is the first time in my life that I have really felt this way, so much has changed. My role as a mother has given me this new-ness feeling and how natural it all feels, like I have done this for a while now. It has been just a few days shy of 4 weeks since our baby girl joined our family and the emotions are still running high. It is a privilege being her carer her teacher and her guide in life. When we grow we naturally give to others and this adds to our sense of self in such an unselfish way. We are serving others and we seek connection and contribution. I am sure many parents feel this way. You do not know how life changes until you have children. How true a statement. I had heard it so many times that I was waiting for the moment where I could say ‘yes that is when it happened’. For me it was right after birth. Our baby was real and here, and she needed protection, love, food and comfort. Children are a gift and we as parents are ther...

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This story is inspired by one of my clients who has already accomplished so much in his 37 years and yet he does not see what his accomplishments are, instead he is focusing on what is still missing.. I guess we all tend to focus on that from time to time, what we want is still out there elusive and un-touchable. So after awhile this becomes demotivating and we get stuck in our predicament. All we want is to do better and putting this into practice becomes the real challenge. This is when we need to tackle each day as it comes one at a time. Set yourself some realistic mini-goals each day. Focus on the action and get on with living authentically. If you find yourself reflecting on the past this will not serve you going forward so make a conscious decision to minimize the mental tennis matches and be in the now.. Being better takes work, otherwise you just stay complacent and nothing will change. The world changes around you and you are left behind. Just imagine what your life would ...

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What if there was more to life than just existing? What if there was a bigger plan? What if when we were souls, awaiting our birth into the human experience, we formed a plan? What if we decided that in order for our souls to grow, evolve and learn, we needed to explore and participate in certain experiences during our human existence? What if, in order to experience this growth, evolution and learning we deliberately chose those who would journey with us and assist us in accomplishing our task? What if we imagined our life here to be like a theatre production? What if we all had our specific roles, our specific wardrobe, our specific dialogue within this story that, when delivered as it should be, ended in a grand finale? What if all the people in your life, friend or foe, were in fact just playing their role in your own growth, evolution and learning process? What if they were part of your life for a reason, and whether your experience with them was positive or negative, what ...

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You would have noticed that we are running behind this month with our articles and newsletter. Well this had a good reason. My wonderful wife and Principal Coach at Click A Life Coach, has given birth to our first child, a beautiful baby girl called Alexa Luz. This has been a truly amazing experience for both of us and we are still filled with many happy emotions. Just looking at her face makes me almost cry with happiness. We prepared ourselves well for the birth and we wanted to have a birth without much intervention, no pain relief, just a natural calm birth. Alexa was due on the 19th of December, but decided to wait a little longer with her arrival. With Christmas around the corner, we thought we might actually get a “Christkind” with her being born on the 24th . In the lead up to Christmas we decided to buy a turkey just in case, she would wait until after Christmas. And glad we did. We spend a nice Christmas day with family at our place and enjoyed every moment (and every sleep ...

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  Too many times we judge and blame ourselves or others rather than seek to understand why we or they think or behave in certain ways. Judging and blaming keeps us stuck and does not allow us to progress in a positive direction. It just keeps us going around in vicious circles. A lack of understanding in our life creates anger, frustration, heartache, stress, anxiety and negative experiences. If you take the time to understand yourself and others it will improve the quality of your life. This understanding allows us to become more aware of why we and others think and behave in the manner that we do and provides us with an opportunity to adjust our thoughts and behaviours as required. For instance, we all have personalities that will influence our thoughts and behaviours. My personality style is Stable/Steady. Approximately 65% of the population falls into this category of personality. The greatest fear of a Stable/Steady personality type is loss of security and one of thei...

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