Posted on Thursday, December 02 2010 by
Paola ::
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Photo by mario bellavite
During the last 6 days we travelled in a motor-home, you think it was big enough for the 3 of us, as it really sleeps 6. Yet I found myself feeling claustrophobic and battered from sitting in the back seat with our toddler. I had different expectations of our little mini holiday, just the 3 of us before our newest member joins us in less than 2 months time. Visions of relaxing by the campsite, reading, playing with our little one, having lots of naps and long sleeps. Yes I was delusional to say the least. Alexa didn’t like sitting in the toddler seat behind the driver, so I sat next to her, she didn’t like the constant change of scenery and her routine was out of synch. She was extra clingy and this has been the case before we went away, so this went to the next level being in new surroundings and seeing different things. She cried a lot, and as it turned out, so did I.
You get tested when you have children I am just learning this lesson. Sure I am also emotional as I approach 32nd week of pregnancy and I am having some health challenges around this too. That doesn’t help. Personal tests come in various forms and this one is mine to tackle. I admit it, I am no superwoman, and often times when you are emotional others pick up on this, especially those little people in your life. Testing boundaries this is what it is all about, and you, tired, weary and impatient need to navigate through your emotions and what you consider the best course of action at the time. Thankfully my husband is not hormonal and irrational like me, and he took the lead, and calmed things down on many of occasions. What a mess I turned into at times, he had two emotional females to soothe and hug.
Now back home I am feeling tired yet stronger from the experience, I know I need to distance myself from my emotional self, and be there for my family and foremost to myself. What do I need each day to feel balanced and content? That is what I need to ask myself in all honesty. Then I can give back and not feel frazzled and overwhelmed. Because If I stay that way, little missy moo will pick up on the energy and she too will feel out of sorts.
Being a toddler is not easy, teething, finding out what is going on and learning to communicate and venting out frustrations is a lot for one day. I know I need to give her more time and take it slowly. I guess that is a lesson for many people especially parents. Our children are a reflection of us, so we need to honour our feelings and feel balanced as much as we can no matter what else is going on for us. Remembering after all they are our greatest gift.