Keeping it together when you work together

Photo by TPH Canada

Keeping a relationship sweet with a spouse or partner over the years can often be pretty challenging. The same can also be said of business relationships. Put the two together and WOW! The concept of 'relationship skills' will take on a whole different meaning!

Having lived and worked together with my husband for over 20 years, both in a  home office and away from home premises. Needless to say there have been “moments”, while we’ve learned a lot about how to run a micro business together, we've also found ways to keep our personal relationship interesting and romantic.

Here are some of the strategies we have developed:

• Keep the space between you clean with regular WIFLS (What I feel like saying).  Often before we go to bed at night, or even during the day if one of us can feel some tension, we ask, “Have you any WIFLS”.  This can quickly handle any misunderstandings over something the other has said or done that we disagree with or are upset about.  It brings any undercurrents out into the open and stifles that bogey of festering assumption.  We clear the air and move forward.

• Have firm agreements about how you present in meeting with staff, colleagues or clients.   Are you always going to back each other up when there is controversy, or do you give each other permission to disagree?  Even if there is a disagreement, keep it civil and avoid at all costs putting each other down – however right and passionate you are feeling.  A safety valve can be to say, “we’d like to discuss that further and get back to you”.

• No financial meetings in bed. There is no bigger turn off to romance, and even a good night’s sleep, than discussing the bank balance or stressful financials in bed.  Whilst talking about positive things like goals and the future can be inspiring - even romantic - sensitive issues should be kept out of the bedroom. If something is really bugging you, don’t save it up till bedtime - try and handle it early in the day.  Or get up and write an email so it is out of your system.

• Have separate interests outside work.  Make a point of not doing “everything” together.  Develop some outside work interests so you will have something else to talk about apart from the business.

• Use email even if you are in the same place.  It’s really tempting just to yell to the next room or at the next desk every time you have a thought or a question but it can be disruptive and annoying.  To respect each others workspace and train of through, we’ve taken to sending each other emails unless it is something really urgent. In fact rather than remind each other of things to do, we send an email or diarize it.

• Have defined roles.  Is one of you the spokesperson?  Who will take care of admin and banking?  Whose hat is marketing?  Who will pick up the kids from school?  Whilst these things will obviously be discussed and flexible, it works better to decide who is ultimately responsible for actually getting things done.

• Take regular non-working breaks.    We aim to get away every few weeks for a mini-break out of our work environment to reconnect and have fun.