How Can We Live Guilt Free?

It isn’t enough that society places so much pressure on us to excel in every area our lives, but when we add our own expectations to the mix, we can really be setting ourselves up for disappointment. There are so many pressures on us as young women that the reality is we can become so overwhelmed that despite our achievements we are never happy with our results.

So what does it mean to be “happy” and “guilt free”? Happiness is often mistaken as being successful which can be superficially measured by how many friends we have on Facebook, how exciting we are as lovers, whether or not we’re wearing next season’s fashions now and the amount of money we hint at but never admit to having.

But this isn’t happiness – happiness is the result of getting our natural human needs in just the right balance. So what are those needs? – simply put we need to give and receive love, contribute to others’ lives and to society, have variety in our own lives, feel that we’re important, experience growth and have our own freedom.

No small feat really to balance all of this, but recognising whether you are fulfilled in each of these areas will help identify the cause behind that guilty feeling. Start with a 1-5 scale for each, 1 being very unfulfilled and 5 being very fulfilled. Now identify those areas that you feel could do with improving and start taking action (even if it is just something small like taking out your neighbour’s garbage when they’re away).

Guilt is just an emotion that we allow to influence our decisions. It is our choice whether we want it to dictate our lives. If you don’t want the guilt of not achieving to take control then make the decision now to be happy and content with who you are. Concentrate on what you need to do for yourself on an internal level and you’ll be amazed at not only how much you achieve, but also how much you appreciate what you achieve.

Tips to Live Guilt Free:

• Be present in the moment. The past is to learn from, the future is to keep you inspired but its what you’re doing right now that counts.
• Have some direction – set yourself realistic and timely goals for your big ambitions and then break them down into smaller goals and actions
• Don’t just move straight on to the next thing - celebrate your achievements, even if it is with something small – a coffee, a massage, a new bag or pair of shoes
• Manage your time effectively and efficiently – eg. embrace a brunch or afternoon coffee to catch up with friends rather than dinner and drinks
• Make an appointment in your diary to see or speak to your mum at least once a week – and stick to it!
• Get smart with your time and combine different needs (do something fun that you’ve never done before that you’ve always wanted to do … and then ask a friend to come along – a community college course, cooking class, sporting team?)
• After a break up, treat yourself to something you didn’t do, but wanted to, when you were in the relationship
• Grab a buddy and commit to sending each other one text/email each day, starting with “today I am grateful for … – think of it as a “warm and fuzzy” for yourself!?!